


Buffygum

by lolwat64



Category: Adventure Time, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Gen, Jake - Freeform, finn - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-04
Updated: 2014-10-04
Packaged: 2018-02-19 19:23:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2399966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lolwat64/pseuds/lolwat64
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Buffy is goofing around when she encounters strange beings from over a thousand years in the future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Buffygum

One day at the library, Buffy and Willow were annoying the shit out of Giles.

"Buffy will you please stop that infernal trolly bollocks buggery cup of tea racket?" Giles said.

"Nah," Buffy said and continued to do the thing.

Suddenly a mystical dimensional portal opened and a young woman and a pile of dark hair fell onto Giles' properly stacked set of books.

"NOOOO!" Giles screamed dramatically and started crying.

Buffy and Willow looked curiously at the odd pair. The pink one stood up and said something.

"Greetings, I am Princess Bubblegum from the Land of Ooo. Pray tell where are we kind stranger?"

Buffy looked at the strange princess whose name accurately reflected the material from which her hair was made.

"Sunnydale, California," Buffy said.

"Hmm..." Princess Bubblegum took out a mechanical device and pressed buttons and stuff on it.

"Marcy, get up! You won't believe this!" She said.

The pile of hair swirled about and turned into Marceline. She looked at the device and gasped.

"It seems we've traveled over a thousand years into the past," Princess Bubblegum needlessly explained.

"Excuse me, did you say you're from the future? Ou-our future?" Giles said once he was finished being a goddamn baby.

"Oh yes," said Princess Bubblegum.

"And... 'Ooo' did you call it?"

"Yeah, see the Earth gets destroyed and blah blah blah backstory stuff," Marceline said.

"I see," Giles said.

"So wait, you're telling me the apocalypse eventually DOES happen? Then what am I even trying for?" Buffy said, fiddling with her cross. She noticed Marceline react to it.

"A vampire?!" Buffy said and drew her stake. Princess Bubblegum jumped in between them.

"No no, you don't understand, she's a good vampire.... well, sort of..."

"We have one of those," Willow said.

Marceline pounced on Willow's head. Willow flailed about and screamed.

"Get her off! Get her off! Buffy!"

Buffy grabbed Marceline and threw her into a wall, but it was too late. Willow shrieked as she realized her hair was now colorless.

"You've got to be the most evil thing I've ever seen!" Buffy said and charged at Marceline.

"Please, stop fighting! This is all just a big misunderstanding!" Princess Bubblegum said.

Marceline and Buffy scuffled and scuffled and finally Buffy's stake landed straight into Marceline's heart. Princess Bubblegum screamed as Marceline turned into a big pile of dust.

"Marcy no!" Princess Bubblegum ran over to her and weeped.

"Relax Bubbleyum," said the pile of dust.

"Marcy! You're alive?!"

"No, I'm not alive! I'm a pile of dust! Are you blind? But I'll get better in the morning. I just need to sleep it off."

"Oh, okay."

Princess Bubblegum swept Marceline into a jar and looked at the bemused trio in the library.

"Well, it was nice meeting you all!" Princess Bubblegum said as she leapt back into the land of Ooo.

"Princess Bubblegum! We've been looking all over for you! Where's Marceline?" Jake said.

"Oh, she's in this jar. Listen Jake, Finn, I need you two to get out of my castle for a bit so Marceline and I can spend some time together in a totally not-lesbian way."

"Okay," Finn said. He and Jake left.

"Those guys are so naive," said Marceline as Princess Bubblegum removed her clothing and sprinkled Marceline's ashes all over her naked body.

Meanwhile, over at the library again, Giles exploded for no reason in a totally not-being-transported-to-another dimension-but-just-completely-dead kind of way. The End.

 


End file.
